Cultivating Lovingkindness This Holiday Season
This past week, as I’ve connected with people and spent time looking back on the past year, I find myself reflecting on the power of Metta, or lovingkindness, both in my work as a psychotherapist and in my own life. The holidays and new year can stir up a mix of emotions—joy, gratitude, and connection, but also stress, grief, and longing. In this season of heightened emotions, Metta offers us a gentle way to extend care to ourselves, our families, our clients, and our community.
Metta is about cultivating an open heart—wishing for ease, well-being, peace, and love for ourselves and others. It’s not about forcing positivity or ignoring pain but rather holding whatever arises with compassion and understanding. It’s about recognizing the part of us that can feel compassion towards both joy and suffering, towards friends and towards strangers, and cultivating that sense of lovingkindness through attention and mindful practice.
For those of us supporting others during this season, it’s a powerful reminder to extend Metta not only to others but also to ourselves. As caregivers, therapists, parents, or friends, we often focus so deeply on the well-being of others that we forget to offer ourselves the same tenderness.
If the Holidays Are Difficult
The holidays aren’t always filled with light and cheer. For some, they bring memories of loss, reminders of disconnection, or the stress of unmet expectations. If this season feels heavy for you, I encourage you to extend Metta to yourself, just as you would to a struggling friend. Gently remind yourself:
“May I be at ease.
May I be peaceful.
May I be filled with lovingkindness.”
It’s okay to rest in the tenderness of those wishes, even if they feel distant at first. The intention itself plants seeds of care within you.
If the Holidays Are Joyful
If this season is one of joy and connection, notice that with appreciation. Let this practice guide you to embrace those feelings fully without judgment or guilt. When you experience moments of warmth or gratitude, extend that energy outward:
“May others feel this ease.
May others know this peace.
May others be surrounded by love.”
This practice of noticing and sharing joy helps us build a greater sense of connection to the people and world around us.
A Simple Metta Practice
Here is a short Metta practice you can try—either on your own or with others:
- Find a comfortable seat and take a few breaths to settle yourself.
- Begin with yourself, silently repeating:
“May I be at ease.
May I be peaceful.
May I be filled with lovingkindness.”
- When you feel ready, extend these wishes to someone you care about:
“May you be at ease.
May you be peaceful.
May you be filled with lovingkindness.”
- Next, extend these wishes to your broader community, including those you may not know well or those who are suffering:
“May you be at ease.
May you be peaceful.
May you be surrounded by lovingkindness.”
- Next, extend these wishes to someone who you might have a difficult relationship with:
“May you be at ease.
May you be peaceful.
May you be filled with lovingkindness.”
- Close the practice by sending your feelings of compassion out into the universe, offering those same wishes to all living beings, acknowledging that we are all interconnected:
“May all beings be at ease.
May all beings be peaceful.
May beings be filled with lovingkindness.”
A Holiday Wish
As we navigate this holiday season together, I wish for you—and for all of us—ease, peace, and love. May we find moments to connect with ourselves and others in meaningful ways. And may we remember that in both joy and struggle, the practice of lovingkindness is always available, offering us a path back to compassion and connection.
With warmth and gratitude,
Amanda