• About Us
    • FAQs
    • Interview with Dr. Allison Sibley
  • New! Mental Health Consultations
  • Our Services
    • New! Mental Health Consultations
    • Adult Therapy
    • Child Therapies
    • Teen Therapy
    • Couples Counseling and Therapy
    • Family Therapy
    • Group therapy for children
    • Group therapy for teens and adolescents
  • Therapists
    • Allison Sibley, PHD, LICSW, RPT-S
    • Cristina Alba, MSW, LGSW
    • Justin Barrasso, MS, LPC, NCC
    • Danielle Birx-Raybuck, LICSW, LCSW-C
    • Alexander Chan, PhD, LMFT
    • Kristin Drouin, MSW, LCSW, LICSW, APHSW-C
    • Amanda Good, MSW, LICSW, EMDR-C
    • Jules Hartsfeld, LPC, LCAS, CCTP
    • Alexis Herschthal, MSW, LICSW
    • Sarah Jones, LICSW, LCSW-C
    • Meagan Mitchell, MSW, LICSW, MEd
    • Sarah Perrin, MSW, LGSW
    • Michelle Pittman, MSW, LICSW
    • Georgette Saad, MSW, LICSW
    • Rachel Scharf, MSW, LGSW
    • Lori Seifter, Consulting Supervisor
    • Barry Shapiro, MSW, LICSW
    • Laurel Tobias, MSW, LICSW
    • Lottie Walker, MSW, LGSW, CSE
    • Rachel Yutzy, MSS, LICSW
  • Blog
  • Contact Us
    • Hours & Location
    • Payment & Forms
    • Assistant to the Director – Sherri Eichberg
  • Home
  • About Us »
    • FAQs »
    • Interview with Dr. Allison Sibley »
  • New! Mental Health Consultations »
  • Our Services »
    • New! Mental Health Consultations »
    • Adult Therapy »
    • Child Therapies »
    • Teen Therapy »
    • Couples Counseling and Therapy »
    • Family Therapy »
    • Group therapy for children »
    • Group therapy for teens and adolescents »
  • Therapists »
    • Allison Sibley, PHD, LICSW, RPT-S »
    • Cristina Alba, MSW, LGSW »
    • Justin Barrasso, MS, LPC, NCC »
    • Danielle Birx-Raybuck, LICSW, LCSW-C »
    • Alexander Chan, PhD, LMFT »
    • Kristin Drouin, MSW, LCSW, LICSW, APHSW-C »
    • Amanda Good, MSW, LICSW, EMDR-C »
    • Jules Hartsfeld, LPC, LCAS, CCTP »
    • Alexis Herschthal, MSW, LICSW »
    • Sarah Jones, LICSW, LCSW-C »
    • Meagan Mitchell, MSW, LICSW, MEd »
    • Sarah Perrin, MSW, LGSW »
    • Michelle Pittman, MSW, LICSW »
    • Georgette Saad, MSW, LICSW »
    • Rachel Scharf, MSW, LGSW »
    • Lori Seifter, Consulting Supervisor »
    • Barry Shapiro, MSW, LICSW »
    • Laurel Tobias, MSW, LICSW »
    • Lottie Walker, MSW, LGSW, CSE »
    • Rachel Yutzy, MSS, LICSW »
  • Blog »
  • Contact Us »
    • Hours & Location »
    • Payment & Forms »
    • Assistant to the Director – Sherri Eichberg »
  • Home »
 
facebook

Capitol Hill office is now open!

Schedule an appointment at intake@thesibleygroupdc.com
  • Recent Posts

    • The Truth about Therapy
    • Why Validation Matters
    • You’ve Heard of Post-Traumatic Stress… but What About Post-Traumatic Growth?
    • Understanding Childhood Grief in the Holidays 
    • The Parent as the Pathway to Healing
  • Archives

    • March 2023
    • January 2023
    • December 2022
    • November 2022
    • October 2022
    • August 2022
    • July 2022
    • June 2022
    • May 2022
    • April 2022
    • March 2022
    • February 2022
    • January 2022
    • December 2021
    • November 2021
    • October 2021
    • September 2021
    • August 2021
    • July 2021
    • May 2021
    • April 2021
    • March 2021
    • February 2021
    • January 2021
    • December 2020
    • November 2020
    • October 2020
    • September 2020
    • August 2020
    • July 2020
    • June 2020
    • May 2020
    • April 2020
    • March 2020
    • February 2020
    • January 2020
    • December 2019
    • November 2019
    • October 2019
    • September 2019
    • August 2019
    • July 2019
    • June 2019
    • May 2019
    • April 2019
    • March 2019
    • February 2019
    • January 2019
    • December 2018
    • October 2018
    • September 2018
    • August 2018
    • July 2018
    • June 2018
    • May 2018
    • April 2018
    • March 2018
    • February 2018
    • January 2018
    • December 2017
    • November 2017
    • October 2017
    • September 2017
    • August 2017
    • July 2017
    • June 2017
    • May 2017
    • April 2017
    • March 2017
    • January 2017
    • December 2016
    • November 2016
    • October 2016
    • September 2016
    • August 2016
    • July 2016
    • June 2016
    • May 2016
  • Categories

    • ADHD
    • Adult Psychotherapy
    • Anxiety
    • Bethesda Psychotherapist
    • Child Counseling
    • Child therapy
    • Coping Skills
    • Couples Therapy
    • DC Psychotherapist
    • Depression
    • Divorce
    • Family Therapy
    • Mindfulness
    • Parenting
    • Self-care
    • Uncategorized
    • Washington

Anxiety in Grief: Part 2 – What Is Our Mission as Grief Survivors?

Posted by Jocelin Bailey

"resilience" spelled in Scrabble letters in front of a flower bud

 

In my first entry of “Anxiety in Grief”, I explored the idea that anxiety is a common experience within the grief process. This concept is presented and discussed in the book Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief, by Claire Bidwell Smith.  As a child and adult therapist in Washington, DC, I have experienced anxiety as a part of grief in professional and personal experiences.  In addition to discussing how anxiety flows throughout the stages of grief, I also make the connection that grief surrounding the pandemic is very present for many people.  This grief and related anxiety permeate both our conscious and subconscious minds, leaving us always on high alert. 

 

Bidwell Smith makes reference to the book Resilient Grieving, by Dr. Lucy Hone.  Dr. Lucy Hone has been influenced by the contemporary research of Dr. George Bonnano, who introduced the controversial idea of resilience into the study of loss and trauma.  As I reflected upon their work and the strategies that have been identified as useful for grieving with resilience in mind, I continued to think of the pandemic.  I wondered about the processing and healing that may prove useful for the wellbeing of our communities, cities, countries, and world.  

 

I would like to share the ideas about resilient grieving with readers here who may be interested in employing steps towards grieving the loss of life prior to COVID 19.  While these ideas are not meant to replace therapy or mental health treatment, they may prove useful.  Dr. Lucy Hone writes, “Throwing yourselves into recovery doesn’t mean hiding from grief…It just means you go with the present experience…you open up to them and let them in – but you choose to get up in the morning and go out in the knowledge that, if you want to win this fight for survival, you’ve got to step up and take control.”

 

So here’s to the survivors on a mission to move forward while honoring what was. Just like when we lose a useful item, we can adjust to a new way of living without the item, yet also have joy and meaning ahead.  

 

The Basics for Resilient Grieving (according to Dr. Lucy Hone):

  1. Establish Routines: Regular schedule and routine work to soothe both the body and the brain, letting our unconscious know that we are safe.
  2. Examine what is working:  Ask yourself, “Is this behavior helping or harming?”  Pay attention to what you are focusing on. Release unhelpful thoughts and move away from them.
  3. Ask for Help:  It is common to shy away from this, as admitting a need for help can bring an additional sense of loss…loss of independence, feeling we are a burden. Shifting to the sense of us all being interdependent can help.
  4. Nurture Your Physical Body: When grieving, it is common to experience lack of appetite, lethargy, etc, so being proactive about health is of vital importance. Healthy foods, exercise, and rest will reduce stress and anxiety levels.
  5. Seek Positives:  Practice making gratitude lists, remind yourself to acknowledge and focus on positive moments and experiences
  6. Distractions:  There is a fine line between healthy distractions and negative ones/numbing, so check in with yourself to check on whether you’re using a distraction in order to avoid the grief process.
  7. Create Rituals:  Find ways to bring what was lost into life now. Our inner selves crave connection with our past. Create a way to continue the bond with your past.
  8. Connect with Others:  Seek out those who understand what you’re experiencing. Reaching out to a friend who is familiar with your feelings. Do things that keep you from feeling too alone.
  9. Make Meaning:  Making meaning (not sense) of the loss is invaluable to your sense of peace. Find ways to make what was lost still have meaning.
  10. Accept the Loss:  Opening up to the changes, facing related emotions, “stepping into pain to move through it”

 

Remember that your process is yours alone. No two people process just alike. It takes time and does not occur at once or in a linear pattern. Wishing you wellness on your journey of survival. We’re still standing. Let’s keep surviving together. 

This entry was posted in Coping Skills, Mindfulness, Self-care and tagged anxiety-grief connection, COVID-19 stress, resilient grieving, stages of grief. Bookmark the permalink.
← Previous Post Next Post →
  • About Us
  • Our Services
  • Hours & Location
  • Payment & Forms
  • Blog
  • Contact Us
  • Home
  • No Surprises Act

Allison Sibley & Associates, PLLC • 5039 Connecticut Avenue NW #5 Washington DC 20008
202-237-1196 [office]

Website by MightyLittleWebShop.com. Photos by Karen Elliott Greisdorf and Amanda Good.

©️ Copyright 2023. The Sibley Group. All rights reserved.

 

favicon

New Service Offerings: Mental Health Consultations

TSG is aware of the high level of need for mental health support and treatment for the families in our community and beyond, and an increasingly short supply of available therapists. We are excited to offer new services with immediate daytime availability: Mental Health Consultations. These appointments are a one-time or brief preventive and/or supportive service for individuals and families who are not engaged in therapy at TSG, yet could benefit from consulting with a mental health expert in a variety of ways. Email intake@thesibleygroupdc.com for more information or to schedule a consultation.

Click here for more information on on our new mental health consultation service.