Breaking COVID Habits &  Preparing for Re-Entry

As we begin to get vaccinated and anticipate returning to routines next fall, many parents are already angsting about how they will help their children break habits that have formed during COVID and be ready for returning to a busier routine. During my walks with other mom friends, we are already stressing over how to wean our kids off the ungodly amounts of tech time that has worked its way into our daily lives. Before COVID, my kids didn’t use ipads or play video games on weeknights.  Pre-COVID, my children were at scheduled sports practices, out playing with their friends, or doing their homework after school and before dinner.  But during COVID, Oh my!  We started with Tech Tuesdays, and now have nightly technology after dinner (that honestly occurs as early as 5:30 or 6 with dinner handed off quickly) while my husband and I complete our final hours of work that was hijacked by our children’s schedules earlier in the day.  

As a mom, I can feel annoyed and angered by my kids’ bad habits. Yet, let’s be honest. I’ve lost some positive routines as well, and have developed a few COVID habits myself (i.e. Netflix in bed at 8pm, workout clothes under my zoom-friendly cape, and frozen premade dinner entrees).  

As a business owner, I’ve been preparing our staff and clients for a slow re-entry back to onsite sessions. For my business, I wrote a plan,  I shared  it with my staff, tweaked the plan, and I’m communicating regularly with our clients. My Family needs A Plan too!.  As a mom, I need to start thinking about how to slowly phase busier routines with higher expectations into my family’s daily lives as well. 

In working on A Family Re-Entry Plan for my own family and as a guide for our families at the practice, I turned to my friend and colleague’s book, Getting Past Procrastination: How to get your kids organized, focused and motivated without being the bad guy, by Ann Dolin Home – Educational Connections (ectutoring.com) who runs a tutoring company in DC metro area .  This book is an excellent resource for parents in general, yet holds some specific suggestions to help parents transition their families back into aspects of real life.  See below for a summary of some of Ann’s best tips and the link to purchase her book on Amazon Getting Past Procrastination: How to Get Your Kids Organized, Focused, and Motivated…Without Being the Bad Guy: Dolin M.Ed., Ann K.: 9781721938476: Amazon.com: Books.

1. First, know that you need a plan for re-entry and be sure to communicate regularly with your family about what is COVID friendly and what is not. 
2. Identify what kinds of procrastinators you might have in your family–anxious avoiders (who try to get everything perfect), bright disorganized persons (who lack executive functioning skills), or subject matter strugglers (who lack knowledge in certain areas).  
3. Determine if there are executive functioning  issues at play, which impact someone’s ability to remember, think flexibly, and maintain enough control to act and/or not react.  Or, decide if ADHD is also interacting to cause problems with paying attention and managing frustrations/impulses  Lastly, take note of whether family members are anxious (and avoiding re-entry tasks) and need some soothing skills to manage the transition.
4. Try to anticipate and reconfigure routines that will emerge as we transition back to busier times.  {It takes only one day to form a bad habit but can take an average of 66 days(9+weeks=summer vacation)  to automate a good habit: automation can range between 18-254 days depending on the task, the person and the situation.} Take home message—-START NOW!  There are 5 months until school starts next fall!!!
5. Gradually, cue your kids to begin reforming positive behaviors with specific rewards~For instance, if you want your kids to start decreasing their weeknight screen time usage, you might want to use the reward of longers days to allow them to to play outside or stay at friend’s house later than normal during these spring evenings.
6. When it comes to reforming habits, make a list of all the habits you’d like your kid/family to have in place by September–(i.e. Waking up on time, eating breakfast before school, nightly organizing his/her backpack, etc.).  Then add one habit at a time as it is relevant to your family’s evolving schedule or needs. 
7. For anxiety-producing tasks, pair those actions with a soothing ritual to see if the habit comes online easier. And don’t forget that we are going for progress, not perfection.  For instance,  when our child is anxious about going back onsite for school, we can help them transition better by keeping our expectations low for those first few days/weeks. We can also adopt the mantra of “just show up,” in order to try to let go of too high expectations upon first returning.  

These tips are just a few ideas to keep in mind as you head into spring with your kids and think about fall for the coming school year.  In our next blog, I’ll discuss three types of Anxiety (Generalized, Social, and Separation Anxiety) and how to help your child/teen work through those issues as she/he prepares for transitions ahead.