Is Tech Different for Kids with Neurodivergence? (Part 1)

Part 1:  New Technology Guidelines for Kids 

I’m writing about a hot topic for parents–how to handle technology for children with neurodivergence. After listening to Hanna Rosin’s Radio Atlantic story, Smartphone Kids are Not OK, I wanted to delve into the content in this area further for two reasons—-1) I, too, have a son with Autism, as does Hanna Rosin. Many typical tech guidelines aren’t practical with my uniquely wired son. (https://www.theatlantic.com/podcasts/archive/2024/03/smartphone-anxious-generation-mental-health/677817/). 2) I have also worked with hundreds of families in our practice (www.thesibleygroupdc.com) and in my daily growth program for parents of neurodivergent kids (www.parentpractices.com) who can’t make sense of tech tactics for their neurodiverse families.   I’ve written on this topic several times (Tech Tactics for Your Family, How to Help Your Child with Screen Anxiety in Distance Learning, Screen Time Tips for Parents). As parents know, guidelines on technology use for kids are constantly changing.  Here’s a summary of the latest recommendations and content with a particular focus on kids with ADHD and ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). 

In 2016, the American Academy of Pediatrics pulled back its time-limit recommendations. It asserted the following:  1) It is the quality of screen time that matters, 2) Kids need to be taught healthy habits around media use and good digital citizenship, and 3) Some types of screens are better than others. Before 2016, AAP called for no screen time for children until 18 to 24 months, except for video chatting, and said that kids ages 2 to 5 should get an hour or less of screen time per day. (https://www.aap.org/en/patient-care/media-and-children/center-of-excellence-on-social-media-and-youth-mental-health/qa-portal/qa-portal-library/qa-portal-library-questions/screen-time-guidelines/)

In a 2020 article published by the American Psychological Association (APA), APA highlighted that 1) Co-viewing with parents is best, 2) Television time correlates with childhood obesity rates, 3) Children < 2 years old should learn from a person rather than a screen, and 4) Most kids fair best when they get enough sleep/physical activity and have less screen time, yet most kids don’t meet all three of these health criteria regularly. 

The correlational research is pretty straightforward. Since smartphones got into the hands of our kids (2010-2012) and have become more and more engaging with apps for everything, our kids mental health issues have worsened in the U.S.  Excessive technology use for kids is related to obesity, poor mental health, inadequate physical activity, less than enough sleep, and low academic functioning. Screen time before bed is associated with less optimal sleep for adults and kids. Kids who engage in too much technology use have more significant behavioral and mental health symptoms, including decreased concentration, impaired attention, lower mood, higher anxiety, more disturbed sleep, etc.

Hanna Rosin upholds Johnathan Haidt’s strong tech suggestions for families from his book, The Anxious Generation (https://jonathanhaidt.com/anxious-generation/). She notes these for kids as markers for success related to screen time usage. These Include: 

• Give children far more time playing with other children. 
• Look for more ways to embed children in stable real-world communities.  
• Don’t give a smartphone as the first phone. 
• Don’t give a smartphone until high school.  
• Delay opening accounts on nearly all social media platforms until the beginning of high school (at least).

Who can argue with these ideals?  As parents, most of us want our children to play and socialize rather than do video games; we aspire for our kids to be engaged in supportive, interactive communities. We aim for our kids to have solid friendships, we want our kids to spend their time doing healthy activities together, and, we would prefer that our teens aren’t glued to their iPhones and have social lives outside of social media. Yet, most parents also wrestle with the reality that screens are here to stay. Screens are the NOW and the future!  Almost everything we do involves some form of technology these days. How do we expect our kids to have healthy relationships with technology if we don’t help them manage their technology use early on?  

As a play therapist and child/teen therapist of 25 years, I, too, uphold Haidt’s suggestions to bolster good development among kids.  It’s great when parents can offer kids the opportunity for group play rather than solo screen usage, supportive communities rather than social isolation, dumbphones rather than smartphones (for as long as possible), and little to no access to social media through middle school.  Any parent who can start and maintain these guidelines early in their child’s life will only help their children.  Yet, I don’t think these guidelines should be used as a marker for successful parenting or our children’s success. In my opinion, that then becomes a very slippery slope toward judging and shaming parents, especially those whose children are uniquely wired.  

I help parents with real problems in the real world. Parents struggle to uphold these policies in their homes and often can’t get their kids to comply with the most basic behavioral plans, much less an appropriate family media use plan. Many parents also need their kids to have smartphones with certain tech aids (greenlight cards for cash, Google Maps for directions, texting for communication). These modern tools help parents fulfill their work responsibilities while overseeing their family needs. These parents are GOOD parents! They are intelligent, thoughtful, dedicated parents.  

Many of the parents that I work with are also parenting kids with various issues of neurodiversity who don’t have developed social lives, who lack supportive communities, and who struggle to comply with behavioral limits/expectations without severe meltdowns due to their mental health/developmental conditions.  

It is pretty clear to me that while we know certain technology use (especially social media use and unproductive video gaming) correlates with adverse mental health effects for youth, we don’t understand how to use screens productively with our kids. And we especially don’t have good guidelines for managing technology use for neurodiverse kids.  That leaves a huge gap between what is being recommended and what is happening in most homes.  

Stay tuned for more specific suggestions for your neurodifferent family, Part 2, in this blog series.