Tending to Your Mental Health During the Holiday Season

I joked this morning that December is “busy season” for therapists after a friend sent me a meme showing a therapist in the middle of a blazing fire and the title “Therapists returning to work after Thanksgiving.” The fact is, this truly is a busy and often stressful time of year for people. That applies to our clients and ourselves as therapists. While I love so many things about the holiday season, I’m also keenly aware of the range of emotions and challenges it can bring up for our clients and us.

Why would the holiday season feel so difficult? Let’s see…

• Less daylight means lower mood and energy levels
• Amplification of trauma and grief because of the memories or feelings of loss that arise with holidays and potentially due to family gatherings
• Financial pressures with gift-giving
• Food and body image struggles with gatherings and traditions that are centered around food and eating
• Packed schedules with special events, shopping, parties, travel, and more… 
• If you have ADHD or ASD and/or any family members who do, turn up the dial on the stress level a bit more as you navigate extra challenges of increased demands on executive functioning and socializing

…By the end of December, it feels more like finishing a marathon that was also an obstacle course through an emotional minefield. And then, for some of us, there is a bonus of having guilt for feeling that way when we also had so many moments of joy and much to be grateful for!

So, if you’re feeling the tension, know that you’re not alone—and there are steps you can take to prioritize your mental health during December.

• Be Intentional

One of the most grounding practices during the holiday season is reconnecting with your core values. Ask yourself:

• What truly matters to me about this season?
• How do I want to spend my time, money, thoughts, and energy?
• What are the most important things I want my kids to learn this holiday season?
• What would my younger self wish that this holiday season would look or feel like? What would my future self look back on and appreciate?

For some, that might mean prioritizing quality time with family or focusing on spiritual traditions. For others, it may mean embracing quiet solitude or giving back to the community. When you align your actions with your values, the holiday hustle becomes less overwhelming and flows more easily, regardless of how busy you are.

• Pause for Self Check-ins.

Amidst the chaos, pausing to reflect can be a powerful way to center yourself. Here’s a simple two-part ritual to start doing, and keep it going past the holidays if you find it helpful. Before you start scrolling on your phone or checking email, take just two minutes to do this. Set a reminder on your phone if that helps to prompt you to do the check-in:

• Morning Self-Check and Intentions: Each morning, do a quick body scan. Close your eyes and notice how you’re feeling, from head to toe, and then listen to what your body needs, whether that means getting a bite to eat, stretching, or taking a deep breath. Then, set an intention for your day. Ask yourself, What do I need today to feel grounded and fulfilled? Perhaps it’s patience while you’re visiting family members or self-compassion while you’re grieving. Naming your intention keeps you connected to what matters most, which helps guide your choices throughout your day.   *To amplify the benefits, get outside where you can see sunlight and do this practice
• Evening Check-in and Gratitudes: Before bed, do another quick body scan, then take another minute to reflect on what went well that day. No matter how small—a warm cup of tea, a kind word from a friend, or the fact that you made it through—it’s worth acknowledging. Gratitude can shift your focus from what’s lacking to what’s present, offering a sense of perspective and peace.  *To amplify the benefits, write it down in a journal

• Honor Your Needs

It’s important to recognize that the holidays are not a one-size-fits-all experience. What nourishes one person may deplete another. Give yourself permission to:

• Say no to events or traditions that don’t serve you.
• Set boundaries with family or friends who drain your energy.
• Ask for help if you’re overwhelmed.
• Seek connection with those who uplift you, even if they’re not part of your biological family.
• Create your own traditions around celebrations, gift-giving, and vacation or family time.

• Practice Self-Compassion

If things don’t go as planned, or if you’re struggling, be kind to yourself. Remember that you’re navigating a complex season with unique challenges. It’s okay to feel joy, grief, exhaustion, or all of the above. One way to think about self-compassion is to talk to yourself in your internal dialogue in the same way in which you would respond supportively and lovingly to a dear friend. You can also do guided meditations with Kristin Neff or Sharon Salzberg, who offer wonderful resources for self-compassion and loving-kindness meditations. 

The holidays are an emotional time—often a mixed bag of joy, chaos, love, and loss. By tuning into your values and your needs, setting intentions, and practicing self-compassion, you can anchor yourself in the midst of it all. As the season unfolds, I encourage you to take a deep breath, let go of perfection, and move through each day with intention and care. You deserve to feel at ease, even amid the chaos.

Wishing you peace and presence this holiday season.