• About Us
    • FAQs
    • Interview with Dr. Allison Sibley
  • New! Mental Health Consultations
  • Our Services
    • New! Mental Health Consultations
    • Adult Therapy
    • Child Therapies
    • Teen Therapy
    • Couples Counseling and Therapy
    • Family Therapy
    • Group therapy for children
    • Group therapy for teens and adolescents
  • Therapists
    • Allison Sibley, PHD, LICSW, RPT-S
    • Cristina Alba, MSW, LGSW
    • Justin Barrasso, MS, LPC, NCC
    • Danielle Birx-Raybuck, LICSW, LCSW-C
    • Alexander Chan, PhD, LMFT
    • Kristin Drouin, MSW, LCSW, LICSW, APHSW-C
    • Amanda Good, MSW, LICSW, EMDR-C
    • Jules Hartsfeld, LPC, LCAS, CCTP
    • Alexis Herschthal, MSW, LICSW
    • Sarah Jones, LICSW, LCSW-C
    • Meagan Mitchell, MSW, LICSW, MEd
    • Sarah Perrin, MSW, LGSW
    • Michelle Pittman, MSW, LICSW
    • Georgette Saad, MSW, LICSW
    • Rachel Scharf, MSW, LGSW
    • Lori Seifter, Consulting Supervisor
    • Barry Shapiro, MSW, LICSW
    • Laurel Tobias, MSW, LICSW
    • Lottie Walker, MSW, LGSW, CSE
    • Rachel Yutzy, MSS, LICSW
  • Blog
  • Contact Us
    • Hours & Location
    • Payment & Forms
    • Assistant to the Director – Sherri Eichberg
  • Home
  • About Us »
    • FAQs »
    • Interview with Dr. Allison Sibley »
  • New! Mental Health Consultations »
  • Our Services »
    • New! Mental Health Consultations »
    • Adult Therapy »
    • Child Therapies »
    • Teen Therapy »
    • Couples Counseling and Therapy »
    • Family Therapy »
    • Group therapy for children »
    • Group therapy for teens and adolescents »
  • Therapists »
    • Allison Sibley, PHD, LICSW, RPT-S »
    • Cristina Alba, MSW, LGSW »
    • Justin Barrasso, MS, LPC, NCC »
    • Danielle Birx-Raybuck, LICSW, LCSW-C »
    • Alexander Chan, PhD, LMFT »
    • Kristin Drouin, MSW, LCSW, LICSW, APHSW-C »
    • Amanda Good, MSW, LICSW, EMDR-C »
    • Jules Hartsfeld, LPC, LCAS, CCTP »
    • Alexis Herschthal, MSW, LICSW »
    • Sarah Jones, LICSW, LCSW-C »
    • Meagan Mitchell, MSW, LICSW, MEd »
    • Sarah Perrin, MSW, LGSW »
    • Michelle Pittman, MSW, LICSW »
    • Georgette Saad, MSW, LICSW »
    • Rachel Scharf, MSW, LGSW »
    • Lori Seifter, Consulting Supervisor »
    • Barry Shapiro, MSW, LICSW »
    • Laurel Tobias, MSW, LICSW »
    • Lottie Walker, MSW, LGSW, CSE »
    • Rachel Yutzy, MSS, LICSW »
  • Blog »
  • Contact Us »
    • Hours & Location »
    • Payment & Forms »
    • Assistant to the Director – Sherri Eichberg »
  • Home »
 
facebook

Capitol Hill office is now open!

Schedule an appointment at intake@thesibleygroupdc.com
  • Recent Posts

    • The Truth about Therapy
    • Why Validation Matters
    • You’ve Heard of Post-Traumatic Stress… but What About Post-Traumatic Growth?
    • Understanding Childhood Grief in the Holidays 
    • The Parent as the Pathway to Healing
  • Archives

    • March 2023
    • January 2023
    • December 2022
    • November 2022
    • October 2022
    • August 2022
    • July 2022
    • June 2022
    • May 2022
    • April 2022
    • March 2022
    • February 2022
    • January 2022
    • December 2021
    • November 2021
    • October 2021
    • September 2021
    • August 2021
    • July 2021
    • May 2021
    • April 2021
    • March 2021
    • February 2021
    • January 2021
    • December 2020
    • November 2020
    • October 2020
    • September 2020
    • August 2020
    • July 2020
    • June 2020
    • May 2020
    • April 2020
    • March 2020
    • February 2020
    • January 2020
    • December 2019
    • November 2019
    • October 2019
    • September 2019
    • August 2019
    • July 2019
    • June 2019
    • May 2019
    • April 2019
    • March 2019
    • February 2019
    • January 2019
    • December 2018
    • October 2018
    • September 2018
    • August 2018
    • July 2018
    • June 2018
    • May 2018
    • April 2018
    • March 2018
    • February 2018
    • January 2018
    • December 2017
    • November 2017
    • October 2017
    • September 2017
    • August 2017
    • July 2017
    • June 2017
    • May 2017
    • April 2017
    • March 2017
    • January 2017
    • December 2016
    • November 2016
    • October 2016
    • September 2016
    • August 2016
    • July 2016
    • June 2016
    • May 2016
  • Categories

    • ADHD
    • Adult Psychotherapy
    • Anxiety
    • Bethesda Psychotherapist
    • Child Counseling
    • Child therapy
    • Coping Skills
    • Couples Therapy
    • DC Psychotherapist
    • Depression
    • Divorce
    • Family Therapy
    • Mindfulness
    • Parenting
    • Self-care
    • Uncategorized
    • Washington

The Anatomy of Emotions-Part I: Meet the Committee

Posted by Allison Sibley

woman lying on a bed face up, hands over face

This month, I’m writing a 3 part series on the anatomy of emotions for 3 main reasons–

1) Emotions are easily misunderstood and get a bad rap as being mysterious and complex; 

2) When understood, emotions are good sources of data for making decisions, and 3) Emotions direct almost every single human interaction and decision.  

Recently, I attended a business conference among a few thousand entrepreneurs on the east coast. Guess what was one of the most discussed topics at the conference?—How to use EQ, or emotional intelligence, and learning from neuroscience for future business innovation.  One speaker discussed how understanding EQ helps us begin to evaluate AQ–Agility Quotient– in employees, workforce systems and business models. AQ is “the ability to adapt and thrive in an environment of change.”

This conference confirmed what I relearn daily in my work as a psychotherapist–innovation does not completely replace humans–We need people!  Humans need contact! AQ is the newest measure of human flexibility. I believe that it has merit in how we think about emotional growth as well.  

As a therapist in Washington DC/Bethesda, I talk about emotions all day long.  I help couples understand how they can tap their emotions to create greater energy and improve their connection in their relationship (Part II in the series).  I talk with adult clients about inside and outside feelings, which are our primary or secondary emotions (Part II in the series). And I break down the function of each emotion for all of my clients–which includes teens, children, couples/families and adults–so that they can see their emotional worlds more clearly and understand their minds and actions more simply (Part III).  I see it as my job to help both kids and adults understand the nuts and bolts of their emotions so that they can use their emotional tools more effectively in their lives. Once they understand how to navigate their emotional worlds better, they have a better chance of adapting to all that’s changing so quickly in their lives. It allows them to be more agile emotionally.  

Here are a few things that I teach. 

  1. We have a committee of emotions at play, always: Have you seen the movie Inside Out?  It does a wonderful job choreographing our committee of joy, sadness, fear, anger, and disgust.  
  2. We have secondary emotions that we feel first on the outside (i.e. anger, anxiety) and primary emotions that are more deeply situated inside our bodies and psyches (i.e. sadness, fear). Outside emotions act as our cue or signal that an inside emotion is in need of attention.  We have to take time and to have patience to uncover inside emotions because they offer clearer data about how we are feeling, what we might need, and how to act rather than react. 
  3. Feelings are not FACTS–feelings just offer us information for decisions or action. 
  4. Thoughts (at least in relation to feelings) are not even FACTS–But when fused with big emotions, thoughts feel like FACTS. 
  5. Feelings are often not rational–they glom onto old and new events, thoughts, experiences or other feelings.  
  6. It only takes 90 seconds to fully process a feeling if it doesn’t become hooked on something else, yet it almost always does. Therefore, give the feeling time to move through, unhook, and unearth what else might be there. 
  7. Surprise–a primary emotion– almost always amplifies a feeling, which can be confusing or overwhelming.  [Surprise was not included as a primary feeling in the movie INSIDE OUT. In my opinion, it was probably too difficult to animate and then choreograph its’ effect on the other primary emotions.]
  8. Emotions that are escalated above a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10 (0 = no emotion and 10 =most extreme emotion) need moving and body-based calming strategies (i.e.exercise or something that creates a change in your body state)–not just talking or thinking strategies.  
  9. Emotions that range from 4-6 can be soothed by talking, breathing, thinking and expressive strategies. Emotions below 4 respond to changing our self-talk (***We make the mistake of prescribing the wrong strategy to an emotion when we don’t consider how escalated it is. That is why kids get so frustrated when adults say, “just take 10 deep breaths.”  It explains why many of us resist meditating).  
  10. We need a method or a practice to develop our emotional muscles.  According to Robert Masters who wrote Emotional Intimacy: A comprehensive guide to for connecting with the power of your emotions, empathy is present within 24 hours after birth. Yet, we have to grow into our capacity for empathy. As our brain matures, it develops greater capacity for thinking about ourselves, others, and problems.  Empathy requires thinking clearly about yourself and others with enough closeness to feel another person’s emotional state and enough distance to still know how you feel.  

In the next blog, I’ll write about how emotions act as energy in our relationships and how to use what we know about the anatomy of emotions to develop a practice for yourself and in your relationships. 

This entry was posted in Adult Psychotherapy, Bethesda Psychotherapist, Coping Skills, Self-care and tagged Agility Quotient, Emotional Intelligence, Robert Masters, understanding emotions. Bookmark the permalink.
← Previous Post Next Post →
  • About Us
  • Our Services
  • Hours & Location
  • Payment & Forms
  • Blog
  • Contact Us
  • Home
  • No Surprises Act

Allison Sibley & Associates, PLLC • 5039 Connecticut Avenue NW #5 Washington DC 20008
202-237-1196 [office]

Website by MightyLittleWebShop.com. Photos by Karen Elliott Greisdorf and Amanda Good.

©️ Copyright 2023. The Sibley Group. All rights reserved.

 

favicon

New Service Offerings: Mental Health Consultations

TSG is aware of the high level of need for mental health support and treatment for the families in our community and beyond, and an increasingly short supply of available therapists. We are excited to offer new services with immediate daytime availability: Mental Health Consultations. These appointments are a one-time or brief preventive and/or supportive service for individuals and families who are not engaged in therapy at TSG, yet could benefit from consulting with a mental health expert in a variety of ways. Email intake@thesibleygroupdc.com for more information or to schedule a consultation.

Click here for more information on on our new mental health consultation service.