The Story of Play

As a child and family therapist, play has a pivotal role in the development of youth and, therefore, therapy sessions. Practicing play therapy as a clinician looks like carefully narrating the worlds children create in play. This power of observation is a skill that can be used by trained play therapists and caregivers alike. There is a connective beauty to play, and part of my role as a play therapist is sharing my training and translating its skills into your home! The first step is to notice:

Play is a language if we read between the lines. Youth, before being able to verbalize their thoughts, communicate through their behaviors and emotions. They learn from their environment where these behaviors and emotions may be accepted as well as where they may be demeaned. Regardless of how these behaviors are responded to, the behaviors themselves are a form of communication that can often be read through play.

Play therapy is an evidence-based modality that explores the world through the child’s perspective. A child is equipped with toys and expressive ingredients to portray what they are currently experiencing and/or processing. These items can range from caretaking toys such as toys portraying medical aid and feeding to toys enabling safe exertion of physical aggression such as swords or shields. Play gives power to the child and provides the adult the gift of being told a story the child developmentally may not have the words to say. And so, we read.

Reading play draws a detailed perspective and tediousness in which the adult is uncovering the symbolic meaning behind actions and making this purpose more apparent to the child as well as any caregivers. To read play, one must observe objectively and always, without judgment. A key to reading play is editing out your own opinion of the story being presented. This sparks creativity in a way, encouraging you to explore alternative meanings for a child’s play outside your perspective. For example, in play, a child may prompt a character to leave his/her/their family. This may prompt sadness or fear in the observer. However, the play itself may be waving a theme of exploring concepts of independence and agency. This may prompt feelings of excitement and curiosity in the child. The same event can bring two different individuals two different feelings and meanings. Play accepts and considers each of those perspectives.

Play provides insight into how a child sees and interprets the world. This impacts how a child interacts with the world as well as what he/she/they expect from those around them. Play preserves the child’s experience in the purest form. It provides children the opportunity to enact what they have learned or explore what they believe they will experience. The mind unfolds cognitions, and the watcher, the “reader” of play has the opportunity to tie together the child’s processing with the child’s understanding. There is a metacognitive factor that play therapy amplifies through skills such as reflecting. Reflecting can be done outside of a therapy session as well.

Reflecting play looks like communicating back to the child objective observations and/or inferences about emotions present in the child’s play. For example, when a child enacts two characters arguing, a reflection could be, “They are mad at each other.” This provides the opportunity for the child to become aware of the emotion that is being expressed as well as gives the child agency to correct the “reader” if this was misinterpreted. You are going to misinterpret. We all misinterpret at times. The identification of that misinterpretation opens a door for the “reader” to note further understanding of the child and what he/she/they are trying to express. Even misinterpretation has a role in play.

When you have the gift of being invited into a child’s play, I implore you to pay attention to the details of the story being told. The child is telling you something, something important to him/her/them, something they want you to know, trust you to know. You just have to read the act.